We know that Black families experience neonatal care differently and that mental health doesn’t look the same for everyone. This page is specifically to support Black families.
We know that a neonatal experience can leave you feeling out of control of your situation, overwhelmed and worried about what is going to happen next. We also know that Black families are more likely to experience premature births. You also may have to deal with racism and prejudice from staff and other parents. All of this can understandably have a negative impact on your mental health.
In Bliss' 'In Conversation with...' podcast Manuella and Kemi talk openly and candidly about their experiences on a neonatal unit.
Manuella and Kemi offer insights to improve support and care for Black families and provide advice for parents going through the experience now.
Of the respondents to our mental health survey who described themselves as Black, Black African, Black Caribbean or of mixed Black ethnicity, 81% said they “strongly agree” that their mental health was negatively affected by their baby/babies’ neonatal stay.
Common worries for Black parents
Trust
If you or your family have experienced trauma, racism and prejudice before arriving on the unit it can be difficult to trust institutions again. It is important to acknowledge that even if this is your first time on a neonatal unit you may be worried about how it will go based on you and your family’s life experiences.
You may worry why healthcare professionals are asking you questions and what these questions are leading to. Remember that the more staff on the unit know about your family’s needs the more they are able to support you.
Fear
It can make you feel extremely vulnerable to express that you are feeling worried or overwhelmed. Black parents have told us that their biggest fear is that if they show any weakness or indicate that their mental health is suffering, they risk having their babies taken away from them.
I don't have the trust to tell them that I'm not okay. Because I don't want them to take my baby. I know it's not like this…But... I couldn't trust them.
Cultural expectations to appear 'strong'
There is a legitimate fear that appearing anything less than ok may lead to negative outcomes for you and your family. This may lead you to masking how you are really feeling, which can be exhausting.
It can help to talk, is there is someone in your life that you can express how you’re truly feeling? Just because you appear strong it doesn’t mean that you don’t need support.
I didn't want to get my mum worried – that was... more pressure for me… I'm very blessed to have amazing brothers. When talking to them, I could be myself more. I could be a weak person
Assumptions made by other parents on the unit
Peer-support is invaluable as it allows you to connect with parents who understand the journey you are on. You have told us that you feel that other parents on the unit see you as too different to connect with. This can lead to feelings of isolation, and it can be difficult to code-switch when you are also going through a trauma.
Racism, prejudice and language barriers (either real or assumed) can also intensify feelings of isolation on the unit, which can have a further negative effect on your mental health.
You have told us that healthcare professional also make assumptions about you based on your race. This can be even more distressing as you are trusting them to care for your baby or babies.
In our ‘In Conversation With...’ podcast episode Manuella and Kemi talk openly and candidly about their experiences as Black parents on a neonatal unit. They offer insights to improve support and care for Black families and provide advice for parents going through the experience now.
We hope that by recognising and validating your feelings you find some support here. We also hope that listening to this conversation will help encourage confidence for families who are feeling isolated in their neonatal experience.
View the special edit of our podcast for parents.
Messages for Black parents on the neonatal unit now
When we asked Manuella and Kemi, who feature in our podcast, what messages they have for other Black parents on the neonatal unit, they said:
“Be present and stay present; ask the staff on the unit how they can help you do that” – Manuella
“Start a conversation with the staff and state your needs” – Kemi
The Raham Project – helps support mothers and their partners from ethnic families who have recently used or are currently using maternity services in the UK
If you are a healthcare professional who wants to know more about our work with Black families, see Bliss’ Supporting Black Families page.
