"You grieve the birth you imagined." - Rachel's story

Nothing ever prepares you for that first time you’ve to leave the hospital without your baby.

On 9th July 2026, I gave birth naturally to our beautiful baby boy Alfie Thomas at Preston hospital, 6 weeks early, he needed breathing support so was instantly taken away into NICU.

I didn’t quite know how much it would hurt not having the golden hour when your baby is born and watching them take your baby away from you feels like they’re wheeling your whole heart away. It was utterly heartbreaking. You grieve the birth you imagined. You grieve them first perfect days. And the beginning of your new family life you thought you’d have.

I’ll never forget those first moments, hearing the monitors. The alarms. The first glimpse of your baby full of wires and incubated. Walking out of NICU for the first time without your baby is a feeling I just can’t quite find the words for.

You show up. Day after day. Running on hardly any sleep. Scared what the next update will be. You show up exhausted, overwhelmed. You sit by their incubator when they should be in your arms. You watch your baby being fed through tubes when you’re desperate to feed them yourself. You pump milk for hours and hours. Carrying them little bottles from the car to the fridge. But I cannot thank every single nurse and doctor enough in Preston NICU who all became so much more than just nurses.

Each nurse will never fully understand what they mean to a NICU family. They were there on days we cried. Answered the millions of questions we had daily. Celebrated every milestone, no matter how big or small. And most importantly cared and loved our babies when we had to walk out of hospital without them. To us, they will always be a part of our story. They’re the reason we could breathe a little easier when we came home without him that he was receiving nothing short of the very best care.

To every NICU Nurse who cared for and looked after our Alfie, and helped me through what has been one of the hardest times I’ve had to go through, every reassuring conversation, every hug, every chat, from the bottom of our hearts, thank you.

Although your baby comes home okay, and you’re incredibly grateful, you still hurt over what happened and what you had to go through to get them home. But everyone at Preston NICU and the families we made friends with just made it that little bit easier day by day.

Our boy is absolutely thriving now and we’re so grateful for Preston NICU and the nurses and doctors who are nothing short of miracle workers.