"I was suddenly on the other side of the incubator." - Claire's story #OurNeonatalTeam

There are times in your life when you realise just how grateful you are for your career choice and the knowledge, skills and experience you’ve built up over the years. When my niece, Rhodi, was born in September 2025, it was one of those times.

Rhodi was born at 33 weeks and 3 days’ gestation, meaning she was six and a half weeks premature. My sister-in-law, Abbie, unfortunately didn’t have the easiest or most straightforward pregnancy with Rhodi. She had terrible sickness, developed pre-eclampsia and had to have several extra scans because Rhodi wasn’t growing as expected. Ultimately, this was what led to the decision to deliver her early.

Because of Rhodi’s gestation and low birth weight, we knew she would need to spend some time in the NICU. Unfortunately for my brother, Callum, and Abbie, there were no available neonatal beds at their local hospital, so they were transferred two hours away to deliver Rhodi in a hospital that had a neonatal bed available.

For Callum and Abbie, and for both families, it was of course a worrying time, with lots of unknowns and lots of questions. But for me, as a NICU nurse of more than 12 years, I felt like everything I had learned and experienced over the years had prepared me for a time like this – a time when I could use my knowledge to help the people I love most.

I won’t lie and say that it was easy, though. Neonatal nurses often talk about how we “know too much”, and because we see premature and sick babies day in, day out, we can sometimes anticipate the worst. Initially, this is exactly how I felt. But gradually, as the days passed and Callum and Abbie shared more information, I began to feel reassured that Rhodi was strong and thriving despite her prematurity and size. As I realised she was doing well, I was able to settle into being there for them.

Over several weeks, we joked that it was a little bit like I was on call day and night. Callum and Abbie would message me every day with questions or to ask what something meant. They would ask me to explain different words and phrases they had heard from the neonatal team, or to help them understand what was happening with Rhodi and what they could expect next. At one point, Abbie even said to me, “What do people do who don’t have a you?” 

That meant so much to me. At times, it was difficult not to be there every day and care for Rhodi myself, because I knew I had the knowledge and skills to do so. But I was also incredibly grateful that I could help in whatever way I could. I knew that my role was to be an auntie and supportive sister, not to be part of the neonatal team, and sometimes finding that balance was difficult.

When they were eventually transferred back to their local hospital, I went to visit them and, of course, to meet my niece properly. Walking into the NICU felt incredibly strange. It was a department I had called work for six years and one I still return to for shifts when I can. But this time, I wasn’t walking in as a nurse. I was walking in as an auntie.

I was suddenly on the other side of the incubator.

One of the most incredible moments came when I was able to take Rhodi out of her incubator and place her in skin-to-skin with my brother. I had supported countless parents to do this throughout my career, but this time it was my own brother and my own niece. It was the greatest privilege of my career.

As I carefully tidied her wires and then stood there watching them together, I felt immensely grateful. Grateful that I had the knowledge and skills to understand what was happening around me. And, above all, grateful that my career choice meant I could help Callum and Abbie navigate a situation that neither of them had expected to find themselves in.

Being on the other side of the incubator gave me a glimpse into the experience that so many NICU parents and families go through. Even with my knowledge and experience, there were moments of fear, uncertainty and helplessness. It made me appreciate even more the incredible job that neonatal teams do, not just caring for babies, but supporting the families who are learning how to care for them too.

Rhodi is now a happy, thriving little girl who celebrated her first birthday in September. Looking back, I feel incredibly lucky that in a frightening and uncertain time for my family, I was able to help the people I love by using the knowledge and skills that I have spent more than a decade building.

I will always be grateful that my career gave me the ability to be there for my niece and my family when they needed me most.