“I asked her to go if she has to go” Cecilia and baby Amelia’s story #HIEAwarenessDay

Amelia was born just a few minutes after midnight on the 21st of April 2025, following a beautiful and very calm pregnancy. The next day, she passed away due to HIE, and our world was suddenly turned upside down.  

This is our story, and this is why it has become so important to me to raise awareness about HIE and the profound impact it has on families.  

Around 4pm that day, I suddenly felt that something was not right. It’s difficult to explain exactly what I felt, but I just knew. I realised that Amelia was not moving the way she normally did. I mentioned this to my husband, Gabriel, while I tried eating some dates and gently poking my tummy to see if she would react. When there was no response from her, which was very unusual, as she normally moved a lot—I decided to call the maternity assessment unit.  

The midwife sounded busy and didn’t seem to pay much attention to my concern about Amelia’s change in movement pattern. She advised me to call back in an hour. Trusting my instincts, I decided to go to the hospital anyway, so I called back to let them know we were coming. During that hour I started having contractions, which gave me some relief, as I thought I might be going into labour and that perhaps I couldn’t feel her movements because of the contractions.  

When we arrived at the hospital, we waited for about an hour in triage. I was definitely in labour by then. Contractions become very intense, every 4 minutes, but I was coping well with breathing techniques. When they finally placed me on a CTG monitor, the midwife told us she was not happy with Amelia’s heartbeat.  

By that time I was already using gas and air, as it was very difficult to cope with the contractions while lying on my back on the bed. From that moment on, everything happened very quickly and feels like a blur in my memory.  

Doctors came in and I was taken to the delivery unit. When they performed a vaginal examination, everything suddenly became much more serious. There was a large amount of meconium. I didn’t even need to see it myself. I just looked at my husband’s face, and that was enough for me to understand that something was very wrong. In that moment I started shouting that I wanted a caesarean right away.

In four minutes I was in the theatre and in ten more, my spinal was in place. When I heard she was out and she didn't cry I just knew...  

They resuscitated her and took her to NICU right away, but before they brought her to me to meet her, I kiss her and promised I was going with her soon. I begged my husband to go with her. It was the worse for him to leave me there. Once in recovery I knew I had to wait for my spinal to wear off before going to NICU, I tried to close my eyes in an attempt of falling sleep and making time to pass fast.  

Amelia was placed under a cooling treatment just a few hours after she was born to treat a possible brain injury. By the time I was able to move and go to the NICU, she was already lying there with a cooling blanket over her and looking very pale. She was the cutest baby, with her perfect little nose and her chubby cheeks.  

I recognized her immediately the moment I saw her. I talked to her, and it was such a relief to finally be there beside her. We couldn’t hold her because she wasn’t stable. Later that night, she began having seizures. Almost all of her organs were affected, including problems with her blood. She had HIE that is basically lack of oxygen and blood flow to the baby’s brain around the time of birth. This can happen before, during, or shortly after birth. When the brain does not get enough oxygen, brain cells can become damaged.  

Her big sister came as soon as she woke up to meet her, she was so excited about her, so happy to meet her, she was so natural with her even when Amelia was full of tubes and cover by medical devices. The night was the worse… basically waiting to see if she could fight enough to live, and seeing the doctors and nurses doing and amazing job constantly working on keeping her alive.  

We just sat next to her, I expressed some milk for her with the hope that she would  be able to take it later on. I sang to her, I talked to her. By the morning we knew there was nothing else to do, and I asked her to go if she has to go, I told her mummy will carry the pain, but I couldn’t imagine a life of suffering for her.      

If something I am going to be forever thankful is the people Amelia brought to our life. Her doctors, nurses and bereavement team made the whole difference in the beginning of this unimaginable journey. I can’t imagine going through something like this without each of them. The emotional and practical support we got from them is beyond words. The respect, the empathy towards me and my whole family…how they cared for us and the loved towards Amelia. I asked to hold her I wanted her to die in my arms. They helped me to do this so we all could have a cuddle with her.  

My daughter read “we are going on a bear hunt” to her, and we told her how much we loved her and that while we live she will be with us. And that’s how Amelia gasped a few times before leaving…on me, skin to skin, less than two days after being born.  

I wish I still didn’t know what HIE is. I wish this didn’t have to happen to other families in the future. But until it becomes preventable, we need greater awareness and support for the little HIE warriors and their families.