When I was 28 weeks pregnant, I was admitted into hospital as my face, hands and feet had swollen up. I spent the next few days in hospital strapped up to a heart monitor with a strict fluid and food intake, a cannula in each hand for various drips and a catheter monitoring my fluid output versus input.
I lost count of the number of times my blood was taken. So much had been taken out of my arms, they started to take from the back of my hands and feet. After a few days of being a human pin cushion I could actually feel when my blood pressure was too high. I would get awful headaches, start to feel sick and my eyes would go blurry. This was the point at which the doctors explained to us our baby would have to be delivered soon, otherwise both of us could die.
Millie, was born weighing exactly 1kg. She cried on delivery which was a huge relief, but we only saw her briefly before she was rushed off to intensive care - 78 days before her due date.
She had a good start to life, and went straight onto CPAP. However, her luck didn’t last long. Millie suffered from a pulmonary haemorrhage and deteriorated rapidly. I became extremely emotional and clingy with my husband - not letting him leave my side. I remember bursting into tears in the middle of the hospital cafeteria. Neither of us had ever felt this unbearable pain and suffering before. We felt totally helpless.
Our poor little girl was critically ill and there was nothing we could do to help. All we could do was sit at her incubator side day and night, willing her to get better.