Finding out I was pregnant was a bit of a surprise, but I soon came around to the idea and for my first trimester, everything seemed fine. Nothing had been flagged at any of my scans and I didn't even feel sick.
But as I was having my 20-week scan, the doctor was really quiet and I quickly realised something was wrong. I was told my son was dangerously small and that I could lose him at any moment, so I might want to consider having an abortion. The word 'abortion' came as a huge shock to me. I had just seen my baby moving around so I felt that I couldn't consider that as an option.
I was told my baby, who weighed just 186g, had intrauterine growth restriction (IUGR) because my placenta wasn't delivering enough nutrients. I went home disheartened and really upset. But I tried to stay positive and focused on trying to give my baby all the nourishment he needed. I'm not sure if it was the high protein diet I put myself on which made the difference, but by 24 weeks, he was 339g and five weeks after that, he was over 600g.
At 29 weeks, when I was due to have yet another scan, I noticed my baby was moving less than usual. I was too scared to tell the doctor when she asked, but it was clear enough on the scan. So it was decided I needed to have a c-section the next day.
There weren't any free incubators at the hospital, so I had to be transferred to Sunderland hospital, over two and a half hours away. I suddenly became very anxious – I didn’t know anyone there, I had to Google it to even find out where it was! But I was soon very happy to be there because I had never met so many lovely people in one place.
At 7am, I went into the operating theatre with my mum. I had become so used to hearing bad news throughout my pregnancy that I was preparing myself for the worst. But then I heard a little cry, and I can't describe how happy I felt to know my baby was alive.
I didn’t have much chance to see him because he had to go straight to intensive care. I was given a picture of my baby, Kaiden, while I was recovering which made me feel both happy and sad at the same time. I was happy that he was finally here but it broke my heart to see him with an oxygen mask on: I had just given birth to a baby and I didn't even know what he properly looked like.
When I got to see Kaiden, he was the tiniest human I had ever seen, weighing just 1lb 10oz. And then the next day, when I went down to the unit, I could see his whole face – he didn't have an oxygen mask on! The nurse told me that overnight he had been sucking on his oxygen tube like a dummy and his numbers were sky high, so they realised he didn't need it. I couldn’t believe it – Kaiden had only been in the world for a few hours and he was already showing me so much strength, inspiring me to be strong too.